"While I was in this mind, Joshua came to me--as determined in his way
as I secretly was in mine--to ask if I had any suspicions about what
direction she had taken. All the first inquiries after her that he had
made in Dibbledean, had, it seems, given him no information whatever. I
said I had no positive knowledge (which was strictly true), but told
him I suspected she was gone to London. He asked why? I answered,
because I believed she was gone to look after Mr. Carr; and said that I
remembered his letter to her (the first and only one she received) had
a London post-mark upon it. We could not find this letter at the time:
the hiding-place she had for it, and for all the others she left behind
her, was not discovered till years after, when the house was repaired
for the people who bought our business. Joshua, however, having nothing
better to guide himself by, and being resolved to begin seeking her at
once, said my suspicion was a likely one; and went away to London by
that night's coach, to see what he could do, and to get advice from his
lawyers about how to trace her.
"This, which I have been just relating, is the only part of my conduct,
in the time of our calamity, which I now think of with an uneasy
conscience.
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