Imperceptibly she
grew conscious of her usefulness in this new life--a consciousness
that gave her poise and assurance. She had never before felt herself
necessary to anybody. When she had lived with her husband, she knew
that if she died he would marry another woman. It was all the same
to him whether a dark-haired or a red-haired woman lived with him
and prepared his meals. When Pavel grew up and began to run about
in the street, she saw that she was not needed by him. But now she
felt that she was helping a good work. It was new to her and
pleasant. It set her head erect on her shoulders.
She considered it her duty to carry the books regularly to the
factory. Indeed, she elaborated a number of devices for escaping
detection. The spies, grown accustomed to her presence on the
factory premises, ceased to pay attention to her. She was searched
several times, but always the day after the appearance of the
leaflets in the factory. When she had no literature about her, she
knew how to arouse the suspicion of the guards and spies. They
would halt her, and she would pretend to feel insulted, and would
remonstrate with them, and then walk off blushing, proud of her
clever ruse.
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