I feel
awkward somehow or other, as if I were walking on two roads at the
same time. At one moment I understand everything; the next moment I
am plunged into a mist. Here are you! I see you a lady; you occupy
yourself with this movement, you know Pasha, and you esteem him.
Thank you!"
"Why, you ought to be thanked!" Sofya laughed.
"I? I didn't teach him about the movement," the mother said with a
sigh. "As I speak now," she continued stubbornly, "everything seems
simple and near. Then, all of a sudden, I cannot understand this
simplicity. Again, I'm calm. In a second I grow fearful, because I
AM calm. I always used to be afraid, my whole life long; but now
that there's a great deal to be afraid of, I have very little fear.
Why is it? I cannot understand." She stopped, at a loss for words.
Sofya looked at her seriously, and waited; but seeing that the
mother was agitated, unable to find the expression she wanted, she
herself took up the conversation.
"A time will come when you'll understand everything. The chief
thing that gives a person power and faith in himself is when he
begins to love a certain cause with all his heart, and knows it is
a good cause of use to everybody.
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