Yet that camp has been the one
burden of my life. Wherever I have gone, people have cried, 'Stone him!
stone him!' Even the little children in the streets have mocked me and
thrown stones at me as I passed. Only a man conscious of his innocence,
and clear in the sight of God, would not have succumbed to the terrible
things which have been said of me - would not have committed suicide!
Mortification, disgrace, disaster, and unheard-of misfortune have
followed and overwhelmed me. I often think that the Almighty has singled
me out, among all the men on the face of the earth, in order to see how
much hardship, suffering, and misery a human being can bear!"
"Soon after my arrival at the Fort, I took charge of the schooner
Sacramento, and conveyed wheat from Sacramento to San Francisco, in
payment of Capt. Sutter's purchase of the Russian possessions. I worked
seven months for Sutter; but, although he was kind to me, I did not get
my money. I then went to Sonoma, and worked about the same length of
time for Gen. Vallejo. I had a good position and good prospects, but
left for the gold mines. Soon afterward I was taken sick, and for eight
months was an invalid. I then went to Sutter's Fort and started a
boarding-house. I made money rapidly. After a time I built a house south
of the Fort, which cost ten thousand dollars.
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