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Morley, Christopher

"Parnassus On Wheels"

I see that several of
you are fond of reading, so perhaps the topic will be congenial?"
They gazed at me about as warmly as a round of walnut sundaes.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," I continued, "of course you remember
the story of Abe Lincoln when he said, `if you call a leg a
tail, how many tails has a dog?' `Five,' you answer. Wrong;
because, as Mr. Lincoln said, calling a leg a tail...."
I still think it was a good beginning. But that was as far as
I got. Mrs. Hominy came out of her trance, hastened from the
cage, and grabbed my arm. She was quite red with anger.
"Really!" she said. "Well, really!... I must ask you to
continue this in some other place. We do not allow commercial
travellers in this house."
And within fifteen minutes they had hitched up Peg and asked
me to move on. Indeed I was so taken aback by my own zeal
that I could hardly protest. In a kind of daze I found
myself at the Moose Hotel, where they assured me that they
catered to mercantile people. I went straight to my room and
fell asleep as soon as I reached the straw mattress.
That was my first and only pubic speech.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The next day was Sunday, October sixth.


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