Renewed, bathed in a sea of
luminous joy, I wept no more. After touching the saint's feet, I
sauntered into the jungle, making my way through its tropical tangle
until I reached Tarakeswar.
There I made a second pilgrimage to the famous shrine, and prostrated
myself fully before the altar. The round stone enlarged before
my inner vision until it became the cosmical spheres, ring within
ring, zone after zone, all dowered with divinity.
I entrained happily an hour later for Calcutta. My travels ended,
not in the lofty mountains, but in the Himalayan presence of my
Master.
{FN13-1} Hand-played drums, used only for devotional music.
{FN13-2} One is reminded here of Dostoevski's observation: "A man
who bows down to nothing can never bear the burden of himself."
{FN13-3} See chapter 35.
CHAPTER: 14
AN EXPERIENCE IN COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS
"I am here, Guruji." My shamefacedness spoke more eloquently for
me.
"Let us go to the kitchen and find something to eat." Sri Yukteswar's
manner was as natural as if hours and not days had separated us.
"Master, I must have disappointed you by my abrupt departure from
my duties here; I thought you might be angry with me."
"No, of course not! Wrath springs only from thwarted desires. I
do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in
opposition to wishes of mine. I would not use you for my own ends;
I am happy only in your own true happiness.
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