I am seeking Behari. You will recall that last year he
was so anxious to see Kashmir that he even offered to serve without
pay."
"I remember. Nevertheless, I don't think Behari will be willing to
go."
I was exasperated. "He is just eagerly waiting for this opportunity!"
My guru silently resumed his walk; I soon reached the schoolmaster's
house. Behari, in the courtyard, greeted me with a friendly warmth
that abruptly vanished as soon as I mentioned Kashmir. With a murmured
word of apology, the servant left me and entered his employer's
house. I waited half an hour, nervously assuring myself that
Behari's delay was being caused by preparations for his trip.
Finally I knocked at the front door.
"Behari left by the back stairs about thirty minutes ago," a man
informed me. A slight smile hovered about his lips.
I departed sadly, wondering whether my invitation had been too
coercive or whether Master's unseen influence were at work. Passing
the Christian church, again I saw my guru walking slowly toward
me. Without waiting to hear my report, he exclaimed:
"So Behari would not go! Now, what are your plans?"
I felt like a recalcitrant child who is determined to defy his
masterful father. "Sir, I am going to ask my uncle to lend me his
servant, Lal Dhari."
"See your uncle if you want to," Sri Yukteswar replied with a
chuckle. "But I hardly think you will enjoy the visit."
Apprehensive but rebellious, I left my guru and entered Serampore
Courthouse.
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