My companion in the chapel, Dr. Lloyd Kennell, the San Diego center
leader, was smiling a little at the words of the song.
"Tell me truly, Paramhansaji, has it been worth it?" He gazed at
me with an earnest sincerity. I understood his laconic question:
"Have you been happy in America? What about the disillusionments,
the heartaches, the center leaders who could not lead, the students
who could not be taught?"
"Blessed is the man whom the Lord doth test, Doctor! He has remembered
now and then to put a burden on me!" I thought, then, of all the
faithful ones, of the love and devotion and understanding that
lay in the heart of America. With slow emphasis I went on, "But my
answer is: Yes, a thousand times yes! It has been worth-while; it
has been a constant inspiration, more than ever I dreamed, to see
West and East brought closer in the only lasting bond, the spiritual!"
Silently I added a prayer: "May Babaji and Sri Yukteswarji feel
that I have done my part, not disappointing the high hope in which
they sent me forth."
I turned again to the organ; this time my song was tinged with a
martial valor:
The grinding wheel of Time doth mar
Full many a life of moon and star
And many a brightly smiling morn--
But still my soul is marching on!
Darkness, death, and failures vied;
To block my path they fiercely tried;
My fight with jealous Nature's strong--
But still my soul is marching on!
New Year's week of 1945 found me at work in my Encinitas study,
revising the manuscript of this book.
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