" Which warning was quickly followed by the
hair-raising announcement:
"If you set down the name of a fictitious person"--what can have
given the good census department the notion of such a
possibility?--"you will be fined $2,000 or sentenced to five
years' imprisonment, or both."
From there on the injunctions grew less nerve-racking: "You must
use a medium soft black pencil (which will be furnished)"--law-
breaking under such conditions would be absurdity--"use no ditto
marks and"--here I could not but shudder as there passed before my
eyes memories of college lecture rooms and all the strange marks
that have come to mean something to me alone--" take pains to
write legibly!"
Then we arose and swarmed upstairs to an empty court-room, where
Judge G---, throwing away his cigarette and removing his Iowa feet
from the bar of justice, caused us each to raise a right hand and
swear an oath as solemn as ever president on March fourth. An
oath, I repeat, not merely to uphold and defend the constitution
against all enemies, armed or armless, but furthermore "not to
share with any one any of the information you gather as an
enumerator, or show a census card, or keep a copy of same." Yet, I
trust I can spin this simple yarn of my Canal Zone days without
offense to Uncle Sam against the day when mayhap I shall have
occasion to apply to him again for occupation.
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