The Canal Zone is the best governed district in the
United States. It is worth any American's time and sea-sickness to
run down there, if only to assure himself that Americans really
can govern; until he does he will not have a very clear notion of
just what good American government means.
But before we go any further be it noted that the socialism of the
Canal Zone is under a benevolent despot, an Omnipotent,
Omniscient, Omnipresent ruler; which is perhaps the one way
socialism would work, at least in the present stage of human
progress. The three Omnis are combined in an inconspicuous, white-
haired American popularly known on the Zone as "the Colonel"--so
popularly in fact that an attempt to replace him would probably
"start something" among all classes and races of "Zoners." That he
is omnipotent--on the Zone--not many will deny; a few have
questioned--and landed in the States a week later much less joyous
but far wiser. Omniscient--well they have even Chinese secret-
service men on the Isthmus, and soldiers and marines not
infrequently go out in civilian clothes under sealed orders; to
say nothing of "the Colonel's private gum-shoe" and probably a lot
of other underground sources of information neither you nor I
shall ever hear of. But you must get used to spies under
socialism, you know, until we all wear one of Saint Peter's halos.
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