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Marryat, Frederick, 1792-1848

"Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, Vol. 1"

' 'It's no lie, Father McGrath; if it pleased you to die
to-morrow, the devil of a shilling have I to jingle on your tombstone
for good luck, bating those three or four, which you may divide between
you, and I threw them on the floor.
"'Terence O'Brien,' said Father McGrath, 'its absolution that you'll be
wanting to-morrow, after all your sins and enormities; and the devil a
bit shall you have--take that now.'
"'Father M'Grath,' replied I very angrily, 'it's no absolution that I'll
want from you, any how--take that now.'
"'Then you have had your share of heaven; for I'll keep you out of it,
you wicked monster,' said Father M'Grath--'take that now.'
"'If it's no better than a midshipman's berth,' replied I, 'I'd just as
soon stay out; but I'll creep in in spite of you--take that now, Father
M'Grath.'
"'And who's to save your soul, and send you to heaven, if I don't, you
wicked wretch? but I'll see you d--d first--so take that now, Terence
O'Brien.'
"'Then I'll turn Protestant, and damn the Pope--take that now, Father
M'Grath.'
"At this last broadside of mine, my father and all my brothers and
sisters raised a cry of horror, and my mother burst into tears. Father
M'Grath seized hold of the pot of holy water, and dipping in the little
whisk, began to sprinkle the room, saying a Latin prayer, while they all
went on squalling at me. At last, my father seized the stool, which he
had been seated upon, and threw it at my head. I dodged, and it knocked
down Father M'Grath, who had just walked behind me in full song.


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